№4—windbreaker
hi. i had a very unhealthy relationship with <table>s today. i got sort of miffed-focused and my dissatisfaction with myself and my family amplified more than usual and conquered my ability to get up or alt-tab until i finished a thing. its not good but its what i do sometimes. i would feel a lot better if i felt like i ever got anything done for all the hours i invest. self-sabotage.
having a website is neat but i have to keep the old roiling melty snow threatening to try to burn me up away. if i get too invested in something and don’t see it immediuately reciprocated in some way i throw everything out and metaphorically self-mutilate. and slink away. i’ve been okay at doing that but i’ve ben feeling the waves pulsing stronger. steady as she goes.
tags: e+n, unedited, discipline, 无为, mental